This past week, I spent 4-5 days surrounding myself with 100+ coaches like myself. To be honest, I was going into the event pretty skeptical.
“It’s going to be lame”
“I’m just going to hear what I’ve already heard”
“These things don’t really work”
“I’m just going to be listening to just a ton of sales pitches”
DOUBT was real...even 2 days in, I was still doubting the process. Sounds familiar right?? (like a lot of my nutrition peeps out there, right???)
But by the time I left the event, I left a different person. I know it’s cheesy to say and pretty cliché and generic but it’s true. I learned SO much at this event that I wanted to share my lessons with everyone following me for a couple of reasons.
#1 – They can be applied to every aspect of your life even if you are not a business owner or do anything nutrition or fitness related.
#2 – To show I’m human too and to hopefully TEACH you how I overcome allllllll the things that come with it.
Before I get into it, I’ll briefly explain what this event/conference was.
It was a 4-day long conference, or summit if you will, for coaches, trainers, and/or business owners in nutrition and fitness, led by legend Jason Phillips. We had a TON of legendary guests like the Mind Pump guys Adam and Sal (seriously had a fan-girl moment even though you likely have never heard of them), Jill Coleman (owner of JillFit), Carter Good, Cody McBroom, and more. All of these people are legends, even though this may be the first time hearing their names. In my world, they’re the Ellen DeGeneres, GaryVee, and Obamas...so a pretty big deal. And not only did I get to listen to what they had to say and sit in the same room as them...I got to speak and have conversations with these people. We learned coaching, application, business, systems, finances, mindset, routine, everything you could think of when it comes to running a business AND being in the fitness/nutrition industry.
So without further ado, here are the top 10 lessons I learned from this weekend.
Lesson 1. You’re not alone
I walked into this room and immediately was intimidated. I saw people who looked better than I did (at least in my mind) and ASSUMED they were better than I was (at coaching, in fitness, in life, you name it). They had it all together...I was scared as hell. By the time we got to the end of the weekend, we were all a bit more comfortable with each other and everyone was sharing the exact fears I had coming into the weekend. Everyone has self-doubt. Yes, it may be on a different scale but it’s there. There are 150lb and 225lb people uncomfortable in their own skin and want to change their body, but afraid to start. Men and women have body dysmorphia and struggle with body image. Successful business owners still struggle with self-belief and “what if it all fails”. Knowing people, even the ones you look up to, struggle and are in the same shoes as you is beyond comforting. That’s why I share SO many personal struggles and stories in my email newsletters and more often than not, I get a ton of responses saying “Wow, I didn’t know you struggled with this. I do, too. Thanks for sharing. It’s good to know I’m not alone.”
Lesson 2. Lean into resistance
You’re going to hear yourself saying the words “I can’t” at least at some point in your life. I’m guilty of this all the time! To run a successful business, you need to be constantly evolving, have a thorough social media presence, share personal stories, network, etc. I hate doing all of these things...but I do them. When I started this whole biz-thing, I didn’t want to do any of them and actually fought it for a long time. Only when I leaned into resistance did I start seeing the success I had and actually started 1. believing in myself and 2. enjoying the process. Nutrition and training is the same way. I will give a prescription or a recommendation and immediately get back the response “oh, I can’t do that” or “yeah, that doesn’t work with my schedule” or “I’m just not hungry”. This is resistance and just the doubt you’re forcing yourself to feel. LEAN INTO IT and you WILL see results.
Lesson 3. How you do ONE thing is how you do everything
I’m going to share a story that really resonated with me without going into too many details, for the sake of not naming names and identifying anyone. We were in a room for 4 days, all together. We all got our fair share of samples, coffees, snacks, etc. to pass the time. At the end of the day, we all left. Each day, I noticed the same person left their trash (Starbucks cup, wrappers, paper, even food) on their table. Each day, I picked it up and threw it away. By the 3rd day, to be honest, I was annoyed. It was lazy and rude, I was sleep deprived, my eye was twitching from information overload, and patience was thin, so I called this person out. Not in a mean way but simply by acknowledging “hey, don’t forget your trash.” The response I got still bothers me, “Oh, that’s what the hotel staff is for. This person could be the secret to my success, but I will never work with them in a professional setting because that ONE behavior describes how they view people in the service industry, and I will forever remember that person for that behavior. Will I refer people to them? No. Will I promote their business on social media? No. All because of that ONE thing. How you do ONE thing is how you do everything. It’s not enough to be a good coach, spouse, or good at your one job, to live a fulfilled, happy and meaningful life and to be at peace with who you are and the life you live, you need to do all of those “ONE” things relatively well.
Being in the service and people industry, I’ve faced a lot of rude and inappropriate behavior. Someone had a bad day one time at work and cussed me out when I tried doing my job at the gym. How many times have you spoken to a customer service representative like they’re beneath you? How do you speak to your server or Starbucks barista when they mess up your order? Are you perpetually late for everything? Being shitty at all those little “one” things leaves its mark, believe me. Be kind. Say thank you. Clean up after yourself. Even if you truly are “above” certain people, don’t act like it. All of the top names from this weekend didn’t belittle the coaches who are new or maybe not as successful. Everyone was welcome and appreciated.
Lesson 4. Abundance trumps scarcity
This is kind of along the same lines as the “glass half full or empty” mindset, but slightly different and not as cliché and overused. This was brought about in our discussion of money and finances and logistics of running a business. If you don’t run your own business, you may not realize that most business owners constantly experience doubt and disbelief. The second one thing goes bad (maybe a client cancels their membership or they have a big business expense), everything is catastrophized and all is doomed. Every sales’ call is treated as the end all be all...because they are operating in scarcity. Now take nutrition. One pound is gained and all hope is lost, the world is ending, why bother, why try now, the list goes on and on. Operating from an abundance mindset puts you in a more positive frame of mind...which actually gets you results faster. Believing these results are only temporary and that you’re doomed to fail because you always have or that ONE bad result is a sign of failure is operating out of scarcity, which won’t get you sustainable results...which will only confirm your scarcity mindset. The second I stopped “trying” in my business and believed everything was moving me forward, I experienced a 20% growth. I didn’t change tactics or systems. I changed my mindset. Same with my nutrition, the second I stopped operating from a scarcity mindset that my amazing results were only temporary and starting believing I didn’t need to lose weight or change my body composition did I start to see amazing results.
Lesson 5. Motivation is bullshit
Self-belief is everything. Motivation is a feeling, like sadness or happiness. It’s temporary. It won’t last. Those that only wait for periods of motivation will never succeed in anything. This is true for all people in all aspects of life.
The people who are successful don’t give a shit about motivation. They do it anyways. They’ve practiced the discipline because they BELIEVE in themselves, their why, and the process.
It comes down to self-belief. Giving up often comes from a place of doubt and fear in yourself. It’s from a scarcity mindset (hello lesson #4), operating on the notion that it’ll all disappear (money, success, weight loss). Successful people operate from a place of abundance...because that is what they truly believe.
Believe you’re WORTH everything you’re doing. Practice discipline, routine, and habits. Do it when no one is looking. ENJOY the process and you’ll never need motivation again.
Lesson 6. Comfort ≠ Complacent
You should NEVER be complacent...but that doesn’t necessarily mean you need to be uncomfortable. It’s okay to grow and change frequently...in fact, this is something you want and need, but sometimes doing nothing is actually something. That nothing does serve a purpose. Have you ever just stayed still? Appreciated where you were at NOW and enjoyed it for a bit? Maintained your intake and NOT tried losing weight??
The times where I have lost progress, in my nutrition, training, and business was when I got complacent and stopped caring or giving a shit. The second I started growing and changing and adapting to my new state of mind, the more successful I became.
This doesn’t mean that to be successful, you must hop from diet to diet, change your macros weekly, You’re allowed to maintain and get comfortable with where you’re at! This is one of the things I’m best at recognizing in my clients...recognizing when is a time to grow and change and when is a time to maintain and enjoy simply the comfort of where we’re at now. Life is perpetually changing, so adapting to the change prevents stagnation, lack of motivation, and disbelief in yourself and the process.
Lesson 7. Connection is everything
I can’t tell you how important this is. If you’ve never read Daring Greatly by Brené Brown, stop reading this and go buy it. Humans are meant to connect and also connect with likeminded people. My transformation 4 years ago started with WHO I connected myself to. Instead of surrounding myself full of toxic people, filled with drama, partying, and terrible eating habits, I surrounded myself with people who valued the same things I value (fitness, health, quality time, relationships, etc.). That is some of why I had such an amazing transformation. It’s why I have the BEST group of people around me. Once I started my business, I sought out people in the same field to connect with. Everyone from this past weekend said the same thing, “It’s so nice to be around people who just get it.” This is why CrossFit is such a cult. The connections created is unlike any other.
Lesson 8. Gratitude
When is the last time you actually expressed gratitude? When did you tell a friend or loved one that you’re thankful for them? When was the last time you were told the words “I’m so grateful for you”?? If you have been told those words, how did you feel?? Probably pretty damn good. NOW imagine if you could make people feel that way every day? (How you do ONE thing is how you do EVERYTHING!) If someone brings value to your life, TELL THEM. Even just once a week, it makes a difference, believe me.
Lesson 9. Give give give
Giving is a selfish act that benefits both parties. Kinda related to Lesson #8, giving (like giving gratitude) feels good. It also is that ONE thing that represents everything. One time back in high school, I worked at a coffee shop. I was there buying some coffee and our card machine was down (I knew this and brought cash) and this man was trying to buy some ground coffee. Unable to get it because he only had credit cards, and visibly upset, I bought it for him. We started talking and we both realized that we actually know each other (hello small town). I won’t give any details, but how we knew each other wasn’t a good reason. We both thought poorly of each other and each other’s families. He had it in his head my family were all horrible, selfish people...then one of them at the age of 16 (he was at least in his 40s) randomly just buys his coffee with nothing in return. It switched everything, his whole mindset.
To prove this to you and to show I'm not just full of shit, anyone who fills out this form will get a free call and every guide I've written completely for free. It won’t be a sales call, I promise. Whatever you want to talk about, you choose. All ya gotta do is fill out the form.
Lesson 10. Be the dumbest* in the room
Surround yourself with people who PUSH and CHALLENGE you. *No, you don’t have to be the dumbest, but in order to grow and improve, find people who do something better than you. When I started making my personal transformation 4 years ago, the people I sought out were 100% better people than I was (at making decisions, in school, in relationships, in personality, in values, you name it). I made those relationships because I knew they’d make me better. Then I started making friendships at my gym and sought out the same people. I’ve joined mentor groups and coaching groups purposely with people who intimidated me...because it forced me to their level and made me a better person, coach and biz-boss lady. This weekend was no exception. Surrounded by people with 6- and 7-figure businesses, 10+ years of experience, and more, I for sure am low on the totem pole...but I only have one way to go and that’s up.
Before you write me off, let me say ONE more thing.
I know a lot of this is whishy washy, woo-foo, hippie-dippie, whatever other word you’d like to use. I come from a world of science. I come from a world of medicine and science. My mom is a nurse, stepdad a doctor, stepmom a pharmaceutical rep, and dad at one point a pharmaceutical rep but mostly in marketing and sales (still pretty “scientific” in terms of methodology). I worked in research for SIX years, studied Chemistry, Biology, and Medicine. I have a Masters in Biomedical Sciences. I defended a thesis that had 2-3 pages full of citations, science, and evidence. I believe in the scientific method. I believe in proof and evidence to support theories. To say I was resistant to believing all of this is an understatement.
Resources and Coaching:
Online Coaching here.
[Free] Nutrition Guide here.
Recipe & Macro Guide here.